year of the pig.

for all of you out there who don’t know me personally, i am going to tell you a little something about me: i am a single lady. now, there are, i’m sure, numerous reasons why this is, and i won’t go into the self-depreciating spiral of trying to name them all. however, there is one that stands out to me, so i am tabling it for discussion.

the number one reason why i am single: i know too many men with great sausages. and most of them want to give it to me.

let’s take this past week as case in point.

sausage #1:


that’s my roommate kyle. chef, always a prepared eater, and meat-curer extraordinaire.

sausage #2:

armandino and fresh mozzarella.

that’s armandino batali (and some fresh mozzarella). proud papa, fantastic tourist, and proprietor of one of the country’s most esteemed salami establishments.

here’s how it went down. just when i thought my food week couldn’t get any better after picking up my csa share, and hanging out at the red hook ball fields and sixpoints brewery, kyle comes home on monday, gives me a nod, and announces that he brought some coppa that he’d just finished curing. it’s in the fridge.

now, because i don’t have very good knife skills, i cut my coppa thick and chew on it, letting the chunks of fat melt in my mouth. and, having lived in italy on a farm for many months, i have eaten some pretty damn good coppa. kyle’s coppa tops them all. marbled and fuschia and perfectly flavored, i have almost eaten the whole sausage by myself. which isn’t a problem, as i see it.

ok, so that was monday.

skip to thursday. i get to work, rolling in at my usual, lazy 10 am to find a mysterious box on my desk. now, the non-profit i work for has no money, so we never order anything, so there are never just mysterious boxes lying around. i carefully turned the box over, wondering if the unabomber was back in action, and that’s when i saw it. the distinctive logo, the scrawling script. i knew immediately what was inside and tore open the box voraciously, calling out to my co-workers, “it’s here, it’s here. armandino sent meat!”

inside sat two beautiful sausages, wrapped in butcher paper and each tagged with their name and number. armandino, who i had met at an event in LA, had sent me a care package of his Mole and Dario sausages. my two favorites.

so, what’s a girl to do?


i’m a lover, not a fighter, boys.


~ by bklyncupcake on June 25, 2007.

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